Life Lessons from the Wash

Today was my oldest's high school graduation. I guess I should be sentimental about the mile stone, but then again that wouldn't be me. Don't get me wrong I'm grateful for all the work she's set forth and for all she's accomplished in her life, but talking about the way she use to be isn't really my style. For me it's about enjoying the moment.

Of course, I think about the fact that she use to be a kid, but dwelling on it and mourning it like it's a loss isn't my way of living. I raised her to be independent. From the age of 5 my children start doing their own laundry. It may sound extreme, but it's been my experience that they do it well even at such a young age. Separating their clothes into piles, having them fill the washer is all part of the process. (Typically, I help with the measuring of the soap and spotting the stains, until they're use to it.) Switching the clothes from the washer to the dryer and folding them is also sanctioned as their job.

I think having them start so young has also makes them feel comfortable with accomplishments. Yes, even laundry can teach a child a few things about life.

Lesson 1: If you want something done, do it yourself. If your clothes are dirty, get up and clean them. This can also translate into being in control of your own life. How it turns out is completely up to yourself. 

Lesson 2: Mistakes are inevitable. Over filling the washer, missing a stain on a shirt, or dying your white underwear pink, cause it got washed with your new shirt, can be teaching moments. ( I did this in 6th grade.) Lucky for me, dying my undies wasn't too tragic, but learning to live with pinkish underwear was my reminder, taking a little extra time, just to be safe, is always worth the effort.

Lesson 3: Knowing you have, the know how. Sometimes, when we don't think we can, we find out, we really can. Showing them how to do it on their own can lead them towards trying something new on their own.  For me, knowing I'm crafty has helped me try several different projects. The latest was gluing a tear in a leather couch, after hearing how expensive it would be to repair. (cough, cough) And having accomplished so much in the past like; laying some bricks, build a corsage, and mending a torn sweater all helped me realize that fixing a couch wasn't so far out of my comfort zone.

I feel even the smallest life lessons, like children doing their own laundry or having a cooking night (another one, we regularly implement around here.) can be some of the simplest ways we teach our children about the bigger world beyond home life.

A Spark of Divine Fire

One of my favorite lines is from My fair Lady. When Professor Higgins realizes Eliza has left, not having her around any longer, hurts his feelings. He says, "Very well, let her go, I can do without her. I can do without anyone. I have my own soul! My own spark of divine fire!"

The reason I love this line so much is because I think sometimes it's forgotten while in the mud and muck of life we have the ability to pull ourselves out of what ever it is we've gotten into. It's about change and evolving into a better being.

I've watched and seem friends who keep repeating the past over and over again. So stuck in their own issues that they create one crisis to the next. Forgetting to take control of their life and run it the way they'd like it to be.

If you don't like your life or situation change it, the way you want it to be! It's that easy. The same way that crisis was created is the same way to get out.

Step by step, inch by inch, and line upon line. It's not going to change all at once, it takes time, patience, and persistence. But also a willingness to be open. If one thing doesn't work, try another, if that one doesn't work, think of another. I learned this from my fourth child.

He's unique and wired a different way. The parenting skills I learned from the others don't usually work with him. He needs different options, which result into different outcomes. Parenting a child like him has taught me to look at things in a different perspective. Seeing if that square peg can be changed, or completely getting rid of the round hole. Which ever the option is, making a list either mentally or physically of all the options can help. Asking friends and family what works for them? (Noting that you just want ideas- you don't have to actually do what they suggest.)

My son also taught me paying close attention to triggers can end a tantrum before it begins. Stopping it ahead of time before reaching that breaking point. I'm not endorsing giving them everything they desire, but distracting or guiding them (or ourselves) towards better solutions and options. Which then results in better outcomes. For better results, I learned I had to make a few changes in my own life, over what type of friends I was around.

I found that as I spent time with a certain friend that I was sucked into a negative and bitter attitude while being around her. We would start gossiping about others after we had nothing else to talk about. I'd walk away feeling so dark and icky that I'd bring it home and spread it out to my children. After this happening multiple times I realized I didn't want that type of balky atmosphere in my home.

If being a round a particular friend is exhausting; don't hang around them.  If that's not an option invite other friends to come along also. Another option is only allowing short visits with them and afterwards doing something that revitalizes you. Doing activities together that limit the interaction can also be a possibility.

My solution was limiting the time I spent with her. For those that think this was mean of me to do; I just wasn't strong enough to resist her venomous attitude and in return pass it out among those around me.  It could be considered a flaw in my character and to that I say- it's something I'm sure I'll get the another chance to work on. (cause if you mess up- life gives you multiple opportunities to get it right, and it keeps offering the opportunity until you succeed.)

I'd view my personality as a camelion. Being around positive people brings me to a better state. While negative ones tend to bring me to low places, I'd rather not be at. Finding the friends that build me up and keep me at a higher frequency of living are the friendships I've cherished most through out my life and continue to strive towards obtaining. Because everyone's spark of divine fire should be seen as it shines!