Today's blog is inspired by another type of rebel. Jami McCormick is a creative strategist whose blog Jamiemacthinks.blogspot.com is an inspiring reminder that encouragement is a beautiful gift anyone can give and actually showing it to others can prove to be productive.
In jest, I mashed up a couple lines from The Birdcage for a Facebook post yesterday: “Is it too much to ask for one hint of encouragement, one scrap of validation?” In all sincerity I was kidding. I was met with two types of responses: Jokes and serious advice and concern for my need for support. Okay, after I had a good laugh – I took a moment to pause and think about our innate human need for encouragement and validation. I have no answer as to why we need it and I am not willing to seek out research to support that statement. You’ll just have to take my word for it.
Most of us with some modicum of a soul have a need for said encouragement and validation. It doesn’t matter if it is for an academic achievement, professional stone stepping or what what’s from our partner. We need it. It is important to communicate with the people around you when you recognize what they are doing or what they mean to you. With my kids, for instance, no matter how much they try to drive me to the brink of mental destruction, when they do something good or need a reminder that they are loved – I dish it out family style.
In a professional capacity, I make it a point to give credit where credit is due. I think it is safe to say that most of us feel like we work way too hard for what we earn, so professional kudos are exceptionally important. Even our friends, family and random strangers need a boost now and again. The key is to learn when it is needed. If you say to someone every day, “You’re doing a great job,” as you pass by their workspace without noticing what it is they are actually doing, it becomes disingenuous and let’s face it, meaningless. There’s a little bit of work involved in recognizing the need for accolades and acknowledgement in others. It’s called being engaged in the process.
Blowing smoke up someone’s proverbial arse isn’t going to help anyone; it will eventually make you look like a clueless idiot. So, how do we become engaged in the process of encouraging and validating the people in our sphere? Most important is opening up some dialogue and listening. Talk to the people around you, figure out what they are doing – follow their progress (not like a stalker, just pay attention). If your BFF is posting her progress as she works toward a fitness goal on Facebook, read her posts. You don’t have to respond to each one but when you do; give up well thought out words of encouragement.
Now, we all know I don’t give out relationship advice publicly; it’s just not my forte. I will say this about that though, especially in an increasingly visible society, where our laundry both dirty and clean may end up being seen by hundreds if not thousands and millions of curious eyes– for crying out loud, let the person in your life know they mean more to you than some semi-anonymous individual hailing from the Cloud. I have several friends complaining about this very thing. It just isn’t that hard to say somebody means something to you without making a public display of it. Mind you, I am someone who even after being in a relationship for a year and a half never changed my status on my Facebook. I’m sure there was a little subconscious sting in that for my partner. I learned my lesson and may do different if a next time rolls around.
To bring this thing to a close, this week I am going to do a better job of recognizing when someone near me needs a pat on the back or just a nod to their importance in my life. For you, maybe you will pick one or two people that you can offer some validation and/or encouragement to. Open up your listening ears and focus those reading eyes. Get engaged in what the people around you need. Believe it or not, that goodness will come back to you tenfold. Best for a week of being the support in someone else’s life and feeling good about the contribution you make to their successes.
No comments:
Post a Comment